Already we’re seeing a few of 💧drip twitter💧 spreading the word that it’s a scam designed to garner empathy from the voters. You really don’t need to cook up a conspiracy theory for that, though, since it’s kind of inevitable that some voters are going to simp for Daggy Dad Scott and his loving family no matter what. Enjoy some fawning over the coming days as we see some carefully staged photos of him bravely videocalling into his meetings.
Hi from Queensland. So here we are in the middle of what’s one of the scariest weather events I’ve ever lived through, with damage going absolutely everywhere, mud and dirt and christ knows what delights from the drains all over the place. Naturally people are going to need a little bit of help BUT OH! Don’t worry! Here comes my local member with a fucking GoFundMe:
He even chucked in $500 of his own money, which I’m sure is a large imposition on his finances.
Uncannily, this is almost identical in every way to our next door neighbour, Peter “Gestapotato” Dutton:
I mean, it’s just so great to see these two hard working guys put their hands out to us to fund our own recovery. What a shame that they aren’t in a position to get hold of some of that $4.7bn disaster fund or maybe, I don’t know, have a few connections to the people that are in charge of it. And of course I’m sure we can expect a full, frank, transparent disbursement of this money which will definitely only go to people who need it and not to, idk, donors or something.
Last week we were treated to some amazing footage of Grace Tame, the former Australian of the Year, dishing up what may well be the best and filthiest side eye we will see in our lifetimes. I’m talking a once-in-a-hundred-years display of sheer gofuckyaself:
a cold handshake…a side eye……and an uncomfortable pose
Naturally a lot of crybaby men went on the attack about how she was “ungrateful”, “rude”, “disrespectful”, blah de wah blah. Not just in the comfort of their own Facebook posts, either, but prominent writers in the self-proclaimed national fucking paper of record.
Look, it was a week ago and I am sure every take that could be had has been had to death, but it has been shitting me all week. It’s exhausting. I’m not even a famous awardee and it’s fucking tiring.
The good news is you don’t actually need to be a famous awardee to decide that you don’t need to offer a smile or accommodation to every random fucker who tells you you’d be prettier if you’d just smile, or “it can’t be that bad darling”, or the fucker that likes to come and make small talk with you in the smokers area at your local pub.
This can cop you some grief sometimes. Sometimes it’s as small as seeing the look of discomfort on that fucker’s face as he figures out you’re much more interested in Candy Crush than you are in him. Maybe it’s getting yelled at for being a stuck up bitch. Maybe it’s getting feedback from your boss that you need to look more enthusiastic. Maybe it’s worse. But if you can push back, you should.
And Grace Tame? Grace Tame has been working her arse off all year to win justice for people who experience sexual abuse and assault. She’s watched as this government dropped the ball on Brittany Higgins’ revelations and dived in front of Christian Porter to protect him from rape accusations. She’s watched Morrison talk about how spawning a couple of female offspring makes it possible for him to understand that maybe sexual assault isn’t so nice.
Every time she pushes back on these men with large platforms and important titles she makes it a little easier for the rest of us.
Every time we push back on these little men, we make it easier for the rest of us, too.
Every year I add this to my list of resolutions and every year I kind of get overwhelmed by Starting Shit Syndrome but you know what? Fuck it, I can’t be bothered starting with a big intro.
