Hi from Queensland. So here we are in the middle of what’s one of the scariest weather events I’ve ever lived through, with damage going absolutely everywhere, mud and dirt and christ knows what delights from the drains all over the place. Naturally people are going to need a little bit of help BUT OH! Don’t worry! Here comes my local member with a fucking GoFundMe:

He even chucked in $500 of his own money, which I’m sure is a large imposition on his finances.

Uncannily, this is almost identical in every way to our next door neighbour, Peter “Gestapotato” Dutton:

I mean, it’s just so great to see these two hard working guys put their hands out to us to fund our own recovery. What a shame that they aren’t in a position to get hold of some of that $4.7bn disaster fund or maybe, I don’t know, have a few connections to the people that are in charge of it. And of course I’m sure we can expect a full, frank, transparent disbursement of this money which will definitely only go to people who need it and not to, idk, donors or something.

Totally trustworthy.